And how to live with the new you!
The Beginning: Something Was Changing
For the past two years, I’ve been noticing drastic changes in my body and my mind, and a lot of shifts in my energy levels.
Of course, I know the main reason—I’m 52 years old, so it must have something to do with menopause… because otherwise, I’m healthy and take good care of myself.
These changes brought confusion, frustration, and an ongoing search for meaning, trying to understand what was happening and how to navigate it.
At the same time, I began journaling more deeply, investigating my own rhythm, my ups and downs, my high and low energy, trying to understand myself and find meaning in what I was experiencing… and yes, of course, how to live according to all of these new changes.
Finally… after months of journaling, resourcing, and experimenting with myself, I realized that this wouldn’t be fixed – this was a new phase.
A new version of me, with different rhythms, different needs, and a different way of moving through life.
When It Became a Nightmare
I want to be honest—because I know I’m not the only one.
Especially over the last six months, this hasn’t just felt like “a transition” into a new phase… at times, it has felt like a full-on nightmare, where I was completely fed up with myself.
There were nights when everything felt like it was collapsing, my self-esteem disappearing, the tears coming out of nowhere, and the confusion being constant.
And underneath it all, this deep, unsettling feeling… I have lost myself.
Where did my drive go? My motivation? My joy… my playfulness? Honestly, did they just pack a bag and leave without telling me?
I didn’t recognize who I was in those moments, mixed with anxiety, burnout, emotional overwhelm… all rolled into one.
At some point, I remember thinking—almost half laughing, half desperate:
Is this really what happens now? When we’re no longer meant to have children…
When we’re told this is supposed to be the time of freedom, confidence, and finally “having it all together…”
This? This is what we get?
Seeing the Pattern and Shifting My Mindset
Well… realizing this changed everything.
Instead of seeing chaos, I started seeing a pattern, a rhythm.
There were times in the month where I felt clear, energized, connected, capable…
And then there were times when everything slowed down, darkened, and turned inward.
Before, I thought something was wrong with me. Now, I began to see that something was moving through me.
The biggest shift came when I realized that this is not who I am—this is a phase, a cycle, a wave.
And that understanding alone brought relief… because if it’s a wave, then it will pass, and I can learn to work with that.
A New Way of Living: Working With the Cycle
Instead of pushing against myself, I began to experiment with living with my inner rhythm, this new perimenopausal way of being.
And I want to say this clearly, because it matters:
Not every woman bleeds. Some are on hormonal contraception, some have gone through menopause, and others experience their cycles in different ways.
But even without bleeding, the body still moves.
There are still shifts in energy, mood, sensitivity, and capacity… There are still waves, something we can learn to listen to by tuning in more deeply.
What helped me was not just tracking a physical cycle, but beginning to notice my patterns.
When do I feel more open and energized?
When do I need more rest?
When do things feel heavier or more inward?
One of the most supportive frameworks I’ve found to understand this is inspired by the phases of the moon—a simple way to relate to these natural shifts in a more intuitive, less clinical way.
Not as something rigid to follow, but as a guide to gently meet myself where I am… and yes, sometimes even to schedule my life around it, when I can.
Whether we are menopausal, perimenopausal, or not, we are not meant to feel the same every day—and learning to live in tune with that… changes everything.
🌑 New Moon / Bleeding – Rest & Reset
This is a time for slowing down, giving myself more rest, more warmth, more space.
Instead of pushing myself, I ask: What do I need right now? What am I ready to release?
🌒 Waxing Moon / After Bleeding – Build & Create
My energy begins to return.
This is when I plan, take action, create, and move forward… things feel lighter here, and I use that for productivity.
🌕 Full Moon / Peak Energy – Express & Connect
This is my most outward phase.
I feel more confident, more social, more expressive… this is where I share, connect, and allow myself to be seen.
This is also where I dared to publish this blog… clearly, I picked the right phase.
🌘 Waning Moon / Before Bleeding – Slow Down & Protect
This is the phase that challenged me the most, the most difficult for me.
Energy drops, emotions rise, sensitivity increases… and this is where the heavy thoughts can come in.
But now I understand that this is not the time to push—this is the time to protect my energy, reduce pressure, and meet myself with care.
This is also the phase that gives me the deepest learning.
To the Partners: Please Understand This
I want to speak to the men and partners who are walking beside women in this phase.
If you live with a woman going through this, she may not need fixing; she may not have the words to explain what’s happening, and she may feel lost.
What helps most is not solutions—but presence… to be with her in it, to sit with her, to hold her.
And not take everything personally.
Your steadiness matters more than your answers.
What Has Helped Me in the Most Difficult Waves (Practices)
These are some of the small, supportive practices that have made a real difference for me:
- Tracking my cycle and noticing patterns
- Allowing more rest before my period
- Reminding myself: “These thoughts are not facts.”
- Gentle movement instead of intense pressure
- Writing things out instead of holding them in
- Letting myself feel without trying to fix it immediately
- Asking for support when I need it
- Talking about it
Not perfectly, and not always… but enough to create a different relationship with what I’m experiencing.
This Is Hard—And There Is a Way Through
I won’t pretend this is easy.
There are still days when it feels heavy, days where I get pulled into the wave and, for a moment, forget everything I’ve come to understand.
But understanding this has changed me.
And slowly, I’m learning how to live with this new version of me, with more understanding, more softness, and more support… even in the moments that feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable.
I believe this phase is really asking something different from us—not to fight it, but to meet ourselves here.
To listen differently… to soften where we used to push… to stay, even when it feels hard.
If you, my dear sister, are in this—please know this: You are not alone, not in the way our mothers often were.
We are talking about this now… we are sharing, opening up, and recognizing ourselves in each other’s stories.
Even in the small things, like the body changing in ways we didn’t quite agree to… and somehow learning to smile at it together.
This is not the end of something. This is a new beginning… a learning, a deepening, and a new way of being.
And while it may not always feel like it, there is something here that can be met with awareness, with care… and, over time, even with gratitude.
Holistic Wellbeings 
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