A few days ago, I had the privilege of spending eight days at a psychedelic retreat at Synthesis in New Eden, Netherlands. I came with a clear intention: to deepen my path – both personally and professionally – as part of my ongoing journey of learning in the field of service. Last April, I completed the Psychedelic Core Practitioner Training at Synthesis, and this retreat felt like the natural next step.
It was a time of learning, of holding space, and of receiving deep personal healing. The experience was far from easy – in fact, some parts were profoundly difficult – but it brought insights that continue to shape how I walk my path, both as a practitioner and as a human being.
Learning Through Service
For the first part of the retreat, I was in a supportive role: assisting practices, holding space, and observing the ceremony process from behind the scenes. It was invaluable to witness how different facilitators hold this sacred work. Their presence, their wisdom, their relationship with music and nature, and their way of meeting others with empathy and kindness inspired me deeply.
Stepping Into Medicine
Later in the week, I joined as a participant. This was an entirely different experience – moving from serving to receiving. I always enter ceremonies with openness, and while I try to carry no expectations, what unfolded still surprised me in many ways.
In the two ceremonies I participated in, the medicine did not bring visions or insights at first. Instead, it spoke through my body – through pain, tension, and powerful waves of energy. It was challenging to stay present with what arose, and yet, that became the heart of the teaching: sometimes healing comes not in images or words, but in the body’s wisdom, releasing what it has carried for too long.
A Mantra for Surrender
During a particularly difficult moment, I repeated a simple mantra:
“Accept with love, release with gratitude.”
On the inhale: accept.
On the exhale: release.
This phrase became an anchor, guiding me back to trust and the present moment. On my second journey, when I fully surrendered, I felt supported by protectors, ancestors, and the seen and unseen hands of care. What followed was a profound sense of relaxation – the deepest I have ever known. I felt the medicine guide me through it, scanning and healing me, cell by cell. I left that ceremony with a sense of renewal and peace I had been longing for.
Using a mantra like this is something anyone can try – whether in ceremony, in nature, or simply in daily life when things feel overwhelming.
With conscious breathing, you can bring it alive:
On the inhale, breathe in something that supports you – love, calm, joy.
On the exhale, release what you don’t need in this moment – tension, fear, or anything no longer serving you.
It becomes a gentle way of returning to the heart, again and again.
Insights to Carry Forward
From this reatreat, I brought home not only healing but also important reminders:
- We cannot carry the pain of others, even those we love most. What we can do is offer love, presence, and support.
- Listening to our own needs, our inner wisdom, and our truth is not selfish – it is essential for us as human beings, and for serving others
- Nature is one of our greatest allies in healing. To be held by the earth, the trees, or the sky is to be reminded that we are never alone and that we are part of the whole.
These lessons continue to unfold in me. They guide not only my personal life but also how I hold space for others – reminding me to root my work in empathy, presence, and deep listening. For that, I am deeply grateful.
An Invitation
Healing is not about achieving perfection, fixing ourselves, or striving to become “better.” It is about courageously meeting ourselves as we are – sometimes in joy, sometimes in pain – and allowing both to transform us.
I invite you to reflect on your own path:
- What are you ready to release with gratitude?
- What do you truly need right now?
- How might you listen more deeply to your own wisdom?
For me, the path is clear: I was brought into this life to live, to love, to serve.
May your own journey bring you closer to your truth.
Holistic Wellbeings 
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